Aug. 3, 1918
Johanna moved today. I feel kind of sorry she moved away. She was living just across the street from us. But she is going into a beautiful home so I suppose she will be very happy. They have bought a new five room bungalow just completed about two blocks from Lincoln High School. It has a fireplace, built in bookcases and buffet, breakfast nook and cupboards and cooler so it doesn’t lack anything, even laundry tubs on the back porch, so it is very handy for her. Her baby is growing nice and big and looks much like the Norstad family, I think.
Andrew’s wife has got another baby, a daughter, on the 31st of July. I was the first relative who saw it too as I just happened to go over there not knowing whether she had got it or not.
Andrew is getting along pretty well at the sanitoruim. He looks much better, I think. Johanna, Einar and the baby went out with the Norstads Tuesday night. Karl and I went along. He was much cheered by seeing us, talked and joked as in the good old times.
I had a letter from good old Peter not so long ago. He has been very unhappy this winter because Gertrude and the baby have been away from him. Now I must go to bed goodnight.
Aug. 7, 1918
I wonder where Queen is tonight. I locked her inside the fence as I went away but she jumped the fence and came after as far as to the car line on 35th and then I didn’t see her anymore. Mabel, Karl and I went to see Martha over to the county hospital. She got a baby girl last Wednesday and both are doing fine. Then I went up to Mrs. Hanson, took the Pacific Ave. car down town and when we came home again poor Queen was away. I hope we find the poor dog as we think a lot of him. Goodnight.
Sept. 2, 1918
I am sitting in the shade of the house and it feels good as I had a very long walk. I went to see Johanna today as Knut went over to Gig Harbor to saw some wood for Martha. We were going yesterday, Sunday, but somehow or other we got late, so we went to Pt. Defiance Park. We had a little lunch with us. Karl liked to see the boats. “See boat, mama, see other boat, see one boat, see one more boat, Eva, mama.” He sometimes calls me Eva and lately Ella because he hears the children saying it so much. Bernice and Genevieve Strand were with us. Oh, it seems nice to go out with Knut like that. He has been so busy working that we haven’t been out so very much this summer. Well today I was left alone with Karl and the dog so I thought I might as well take a walk over to Johanna. She lives on the other side of Lincoln High School. It is quite a long walk over there but, of course, I had Karl in the cart so that wasn’t so hard. Einar was home today and they were both going to Spanaway Lake. They asked me to go along but I would rather go home, then I would be home when Knut came. They surely have a beautiful home over there. She has new dining room table and three new chairs. The baby is getting along just dandy too, growing nice and big. Johanna looked real nice in her lavender or purple silk dress with Georgia crepe sleeves. They took the Spanaway car and then I walked home. On my way I went in to see little Thelma who is at the County Hospital because her eyes are so poor. Poor little thing, she was sitting in a little bed in a dark too, the blind pulled down. I asked if she knew, yea, she said. She had her little doll there and some more playthings. It’s certainly too bad about that family. What a lot of sickness and troubles they have. The little girl is in danger of loosing her eyesight. I hope she gets better.
Sept. 5, 1918
Today is our wedding anniversary. We have been married three years today. Knut is working days now and he is just now singing for Karl and little Karl is laughing. It is bedtime now so we better go to bed. Goodnight.
Oct 4, 1918
Today is my birthday. I am twenty five years old. Just think, one quarter of a century. I remember well when Knut was 25 years old. I haven’t celebrated much today, have been sewing on Karl’s coat this morning, sewed the lining and made the belt so I hope another half a day will finish it up for me. It has taken quite a while to make it. I made it up from my old gray coat, it is in Nordfolk style with pleats, pockets and belt. That’s the only nice way I could make it as the coat was in smaller pieces and worn in some places but I turned it, it’s washed and pressed so when I get it done it will look like new. Guess my boy will look nice in it.
Nov. 2, 1918
My poor little sweetheart boy is sick. He seemed to be all right yesterday and went to sleep all right last night. But during the night he seemed so warm and feverish and this morning his nose has been running and he has been so warm too. My, God, I am terrible nervous because it is such a lot of sickness and death going on. This Spanish Influenza is raging all over the country. My goodness I don’t know if my boy has just a cold or what. I’ll do my best for him anyway. God help us.
The whistles are blowing steadily and that must mean that Peace is declared that the war is over. Thank God for such a thing and it will be a lasting peace. The Germans must be beaten to a finish. The allies are victorious. Now many hearts are glad all over their boys will be home. The mothers, sweethearts and wives, children, relatives all will be happy. The terrible bloodshed is over, over the world. Thank God.
Jan. 9, 1919
Well, Christmas is over and the New Year begun. May God bless the New Year for me so I will do better in love and patience to my child and children for there is another one coming in May probably if not before. I feel tired and want to go to bed. Goodnight.
Feb. 2, 1919
This afternoon we went to the Vikings Annual celebration and had a very good time. We went up to Sixth Avenue and took Mrs. Hanson, Knut’s sister, along with us. Karl certainly had a good time running around with the other children. He got up to the piano and sat down and played till somebody chased him away. He likes music very much and I hope we will be able to give him lessons some day. They had a nice supper up there, several kinds of sliced cold meats and potato salad, etc. Even had ice cream for dessert. We went shortly after refreshments as Karl was getting tired. He went to sleep on the streetcar going home. Knut went out somewhere but I guess he is coming now. He has been busy sealing up in the house and has not got so very much left. We have all kept in good health so far and that is much to be thankful for as there is so much sickness all over. Just an epidemic of this Spanish Influenza or grippe.
Johanna and Einar with the baby and Louis and Evelyn were here a couple of weeks ago. They are all fine. I had a letter from Hanna after Xmas. She has another baby girl born Nov. 29. I don’t think they are coming back to Tacoma. Somebody said they were figuring on going to Norway but of course they might not go so soon or they might change their mind. Falk’s brother is back there on Hemnes now.
Andrew’s wife was in town here about a week ago and stayed over night up to Mrs. Hanson. She was going out to the country to try to get her step-brother to stay with her as Andrew probably has to go back to the sanatorium and she cannot very well stay alone with the three babies. Poor Andrew he certainly did not get cured very fast. I was out there to see them awhile before Christmas and then Andrew looked so well and I had such good hope but then he has caught a cold and gotten worse since but I hope he gets better soon. Now I better quit for tonight. Goodnight.
March 22, 1919
Thought I would write down a few lines. I am in bed for the night. Karl just went to sleep. We were up to the library. I got two books. He wanted one too so the librarian let him have one on my card. He sat down by the children and looked at books like the rest of them. He is certainly learning to talk. He can say most anything now and I have to laugh at him many times.
March 27, 1919
Knut, Karl and I were down town today. Karl got a new pair of shoes with heavy soles $3. That makes the 11th pair of shoes we have bought for him not counting soft sole shoes but then it is better to buy shoes than to pay doctor bills. So thank God that he is well and strong. Then we bought a crib and mattress, a real nice crib, as nice as I could wish, so I feel very much pleased. I always liked those little steel baby beds. I am working on the baby clothes and am done pretty soon so that is a good thing. I ought to be done already but it seems like it’s so much to do. We got the house papered now and it looks fine and dandy. Louis did the papering.
Easter Sunday, April 20, 1919
Happy Easter. Karl says and it has been a happy Easter. This morning I went to church and enjoyed it very much. The Sunday School children sang a hymn and it sounded so much like back in the old country when I was a child myself, singing with the rest. The preacher talked well and earnestly. Then we sang those old Easter hymns and a lady sang solo. It really was nice and I felt better for going. On my way home I bought a newspaper ad an ice cream cone for Karl. He was glad to get it. Louis came down after dinner and Knut and he went down town together to a meeting.
April 28 1919
Today is Andres’s birthday. Poor boy. I guess he hasn’t much joy being out at the Sanatorium. I sent him a card Saturday so he ought to have it by today. I have been busy getting little things done. The time is going fast and I suppose the stranger will arrive in about two weeks. Goodnight as I am tired.
May 13, 1919
Just going to bed. The days are getting pretty. Oh, I always did enjoy the spring time and it seems as great as ever. Genevieve is staying with me now.
May 16, 1919
Karl is not feeling well. He has a bad cold and breathes heavily so that worries me. He doesn’t seem to be any worse this evening so I hope he will be better tomorrow. Johanna came up yesterday and Mrs. Hanson today. So it is nice that people come to see me when I can’t go out myself. Poor little Karl he has been crying about going out, then he wanted us to rock him and then go to bed. Now he is asleep in his own little baby bed and I hope he will sleep well all night.
Tomorrow is the 17th of May. The Great Day for Norway. No, I am so tired, I must go to bed.
May 19, 1919
Little Karl boy is much better today. Has played as usual but I have kept him in the house. Today has been a big day in Norway and here they have had celebration too. Some of the neighbors around have gone.
May 19, 1919
Well, well—Maybe the baby will be here before morning and it certainly will be welcome. Karl is asking for it every day so he will be glad. He says he is going to let the baby ride on his kiddy car. Well, God help me. I hope all goes well!
May 24, 1919
A sweet little baby girl was born May 21, at 4am. Everything went fine and thank God. Knut and Karl are very happy too. Today is Karl’s birthday and Mary and Harold came down with a birthday cake for Karl and I sent them up to the store to get some ice cream so now they are fixing up a little party.
May 26, 1919
Johanna and Einar came down yesterday to see the baby. Their baby was up to Grandma and they were going down town to a show. Old Mrs. Nilson brought me some flowers yesterday. Pretty pink roses and other flowers. Then Mr. & Mrs. Ezra McFarlane came up. Jonas came in too to see the baby so the day went quite fast. The baby is good so there isn’t much bother with her. She nurses fine, took the breast without any trouble at all. We are going to call the baby Irene Marian after my mother and Knut’s. The baby weighed 10 lbs with the clothes. Then they weighed the clothes and that weighed 1 lb so that left her weighing nine lbs and that is much for a girl.
Just now listen: The paperboys are calling out Extras. Germany won’t sign peace terms. War extras –War again. Oh my, doesn’t that sound dreadful. My God help us. I don’t dare to think of the consequences.
May 29, 1919
Tomorrow is Decoration Day and I am still in bed. I remember last year I went up to see Mrs. Martin Johnson in the evening. Johanna came back again yesterday with a nice baked custard and a cake. Little Doris was along and she is just fine, big and fat and cute. Has quite dark hair and is a nifty little girl. Mrs. Sand came with a big cake and a dozen oranges so if this keeps up we will have the house full of cakes. Mrs. J. Strand brought up one Monday. The baby is fine and dandy nearly all the time.
June 22, 1919
Time is going fast. I have been up now for about three weeks. The baby is four and a half weeks old or she was a month yesterday. She is fine, growing big and fat and pretty, has big bright blue eyes and lots of hair. She is just as dear as she can be. I am feeling pretty good myself. Weighed myself down town the other day and I was 113 lbs. More than I have been for years.
July 4, 1919
It isn’t very much left of the 4th of July as it is early twelve o’clock pm (should be a.m.) but I can’t sleep so I thought I would write a little bit. The fire works have ceased. I believe I hear no more of them. There has been a continual echo of them all evening. The little baby girl is peacefully sleeping here beside me. She is just as sweet as she can be and thank God for the gift. Karl is sleeping in his crib and has been restless off and on because it is rather warm. He is growing big and can say and talk nearly everything now.
Aug. 25, 1919
Why am I so sentimental? Now I feel sad about Karl, that we had his hair cut short. I have been thinking of having his picture taken with his hair long or bobbed but I never got to it and Saturday we had it cut off again and now it is so short. I don’t understand myself. I am so impulsive and sometimes act too quickly. I believe I better be careful or else I might do something worse. The baby is fine. I went down and had her picture taken at the Georgene Studio. I had a complimentary card and thought I better have it taken now while she had her nice hair as it is coming out fast. She is three months now and everybody thinks she is just as dear as she can be. She smiles and talks and notices things so det er rightig en lyst. Bernice went with me and we went up to see Johanna too. Had a nice time. Mr. & Mrs. Norstad came there too and they took us home, so that was nice of them and we got home easy that time.
A thought just came to me as I was reading the Sears and Roebuck catalogue. Little does it matter how Karl’s hair is cut or how often he has his picture taken. What matters ore how we try to bring him up so that he will make a good boy and a nice man. God help us all do our best.
Sept 3, 1919
My God. I am worried. Help me. Karl has such a fever and breathes so heavily. He has asthma and when he gets a cold it affects him so badly. I am sitting by him watching him inhale some powder smoke as I am burning some powder that the doctor prescribed. He had an attack early this summer but he has been well now for over two months. On Sunday it was rather chilly and he caught a cold again and that started it. Poor little fellow—he woke up and vomited and now he is asleep again. He wants me to lay by him. I pray he gets over his spell soon as it worried me to have him sick.
I must write more too while I am at it. At times I really don’t do justice to him. I get tired and get easily irritated over anything and it isn’t right. I will try to do better to him as he is a real sweet chap—good hearted and sweet as he can be. He loves his sister and is good to her.
Sept. 5, 1919
Today is our wedding anniversary. We have been married four years. My it doesn’t seem possible that it is that long ago. The time has gone very fast. I suppose that it is the way as a person grows older, the time seems to go faster. That’s what I have heard people tell me and that is my experience too. Karl is better now so I don’t have to worry about him. The baby and he are both asleep side by side. I baked a cake today for the occasion and put peach frosting on it. This evening I went over to Mrs. A. Olsen for awhile. The baby got the sweetest little jacket. I am so pleased with it, I sent for it on special sale at S&R for 50 cents and they were out of that kind and sent me one of better grade that is listed in the new catalogue for 97 cents. It is pure wool, blue and white hand-crocheted. I am certainly pleased with it and just 50 cents. I couldn’t buy the yarn for that. Now, I must go to bed now or else I will be so sleepy tomorrow. Goodnight.
Sept. 9, 1919
Baby Strand, sweetheart girlie Tudel, papa’s girl. We have the most preious names for her because she certainly is a nice baby so sweet and good all the time. Yesterday I got her picture. Well, I can’t describe it. I have been looking at it all the time ever since I got it. It certainly is good. Sje laughs, her tongue and even her gums show her little chubby hands. Well I must say it is great and think she was only three months old. Babies usually don’t take good pictures at that age but it is so very natural and live almost as the baby was right in from of you. She pulls her dress up with her little hand. I am certainly glad I had it taken and it was free at that. A pretty folder with the pictue in it. Knute likes it too very much.
Karl got a new hat too. A black plush. It looks nice on him, then he wanted a doll and a sheep that goes on wheels and he got both. Now both little tots are asleep and I must get to work and can some plums as they might spoil if they stand any longer.
Johanna and Einar took us for a lovely ride on Sunday in Einar’s father’s automobile. We went out the Sixth Ave. boulevard and had a fine ride clear around Day Island. Johanna’s baby is getting nice and big now and loves her grandpa so much and grandpa loves her, so the old folks go to see them often and take them out for rides. Doris Lucille is the baby’s name.
Sept. 29, 1919
Dear I feel so queer. Here I am sitting with a lot of old Tahoma’s around (high school yearbook.) I was trying to find certain copies but I discover now that many of them are gone. After that fire up on 1708, Peter and Louis were cleaning up and I remember I came just in time to rescue some of the copies from the flames. I was looking for a copy from 1912 and those first ones from Lincoln High but they are all burned up.
I took the children and took a walk over to Johanna today. They were just fine over there. Doris is getting so nice and big and talks so well. Karl went out and I didn’t know before he was gone clear to the Park. He saw the goldfishes in the pond and he was quite exited about fishing them and tried everyway possible. Got a little stick–thought he could fish with that. Saw a pipe—wanted to take that up and a rock and everything imaginable. We finally got him away from there.
Knut went out fishing yesterday and caught three small fish. I suppose that’s why Karl was so anxious about it.
Those people next to Johanna have sold their house and moved away. I regret to say I never got to see them. I just learned tonight that it was Ely Simpson that lived in that house. I used to go to school with him. I had been wondering if it was some relation of that Ely but I never asked and here I found out that it was the same boy. He was married very young.. They were almost forced to sell their house. Now they are living with his parents at South K St.
Mt. Norstad came over there to get Einar to fix his car and they went, and when Mr. Norstad went back with Einar, I got a ride home. So I have been lucky these last couple of times. The children are sound asleep and I believe I have to go to bed too. Einar probably will be out of work again for a while as they are going to strike.
Oct. 4, 1919
Ella wrote a long entry in Norwegian on this her 26th birthday.
May 4, 1919
Well it is spring even if it is cold weather. We have planted potatoes and peas and onious but we got more to put in the ground. Knute went down to Standard Oil to see if he could get a better job but they had all the men they needed. I thought he might have tot one but he hadn’t. Air castles tumbled in the dust. The baby is fine and dandy. She is four months old. Yesterday was grandmother’s birthday (Knute’s mother, Ida.)
Jan. 1, 1920
Happy New Year. We have spent a very enjoyable Christmas. Christmas Eve we went down town and afterwards we had our presents. From Mrs. Strand, I got four pretty pairs of cups and saucers. Mrs. Hanson gave me three pretty handkerchiefs and Mary gave me a stove lifter to lift hot things with. She made it herself. I got a new hat from Knut. It is real cute and one of the prettiest winter hats that I ever had.
Christmas day we went to church and took Karl and baby along. I enjoyed it very much. Then afterwards we went to dinner to Mrs. Hanson and we surely had a good time there. today Louis and his family and Johanna and her family was here for dinner. Andrew came to see us last Saturday and stayed till Tuesday. I have to go to bed. Goodnight.
Jan. 14, 1920
Now I’ll have to write again and this time I have quite a bit to tell. Last night, I went up to see Mrs. Johnson, Gertrude’s sister. She showed me among other things her new coat she had bought for $10. Well that made me think about a coat and that I better try to go down and get one and I told Knut about it so I went down town. First I went into the Peoples’ Store and tried on a lot of coats but I didn’t see any that I cared for till I saw one brown with a pretty fur collar on. I tried that on and that was just as it was made for me–fitted me just beautifully but look at the price of $49.50, marked down from $75. Honestly I had no intention of getting such a high price coat in the first place. Well, I just hated to take it off but of course I couldn’t get it right away. I went to another place and tried on a lot of coats but no coat struck me like that first one. I had just $3.00 and I had in mind to go and get it but I thought I better ask Knut first as I didn’t like to get any high priced coat like that without asking him first. I went home and Knut told me I better go and get it or I would regret it.
Bernice was here and she took care of the children while I went down town as Knut had to go to work. The first one I ran across when I came into the Peoples’ Store was Martha A. Brevick. She had been looking at a coat too. My coat was still there and I tried it on again and I liked it just as much as ever. I asked the clerk if I could pay $3.00 on it till Friday and he said I could. Well, it is a terrible lot for a coat I know but I am so hard to satisfy in the line of clothes that if I don’t get something I like I would rather wear my old clothes. I t might take about six months before I can get it paid but I don’t care.
Tomorrow I am going to the dentist. I am having my teeth fixed and that would come to nearly $45. It almost worries me where all the money is going to come from, but I have to hope for the best anyway.
Jan. 21, 1920
Am just going to bed but I thought first I would write down a few lines of my ideas. I have found by life work, my inspiration, and that is getting religion and the teachings of morals into the public schools. I have to go to bed now but I’ll soon write more about it as I can’t get it out of my mind.
Feb. 1, 1920
Death claims many offers right now. (I googled this sentence and got nothing indicating it was a known quote, just got insurance related references.) Last Saturday, Oxley, the druggist died of the pneumonia. He had gotten it on both lungs. I feel so sorry for Mrs. Oxley and the little baby. She will be two in May. Then today Knute came in and told me that Mr. & Mrs. Durham are both dead. Mr. Durham died yesterday and his wife last night. It certainly is terrible how fast this flu gets people. P.s. It was a mistake, Mrs. Durham and baby are getting better.
Feb 23, 1920
What a surprise. Falk came to see us this evening. I certainly was tickled to see him. He is out here for the Northern Pacific. I phoned up Louis and he came down. Now I must go to bed. It’s after 12 I believe. Goodnight.
Feb. 25, 1920
The baby has had a bad cold and sore eyes for a while. Karl has not been feeling well either. I have been feeling tired and miserable like I never get rested up.
March 2, 1920
Poor Sis has really been sick—so sick she has just lay down for two days. Yesterday, Dr. MCCuery was up to see her and he said she had a bad cold in her hear. When he was examining in her back he said she was a nice baby. He gave her a prescription and we got something to drop into her nose and then steam her with oil of Eucalyptus. She seems to be getting better and I am so glad of that.
March 29, 1920
We have been through rather hard times with the baby. She is not any better but is worse. Tonight till Sunday. She was so bad she couldn’t hardly get her breath and I got up and steamed her. The she went to sleep. Sunday we had Dr. Quevli up here and he told me to bring her down to his office. Monday at 3 so I have to get ready pretty soon and go. I pray to God she will be all right pretty soon as she is getting so thin it is pitiful, poor darling baby. Yesterday we had Fred Olson and Mrs. Olson and their three children, Justine, Olive and Frank over for dinner. They are going back to Norway pretty soon and figure to stay there. Mrs. Strand came up too in the afternoon to see my new coat. Knute brought my coat home on the 25th of March and I am so pleased with it and so is he. Karl is getting along pretty well, he plays outside now and I don’t have to run after him so much as I use to. This morning he wanted money to go up to the barber and have his hair cut and I gave him 50 cents and he went up alone and came back with his hair bobbed nicely and had 4 or 5 pieces of candy in his pocket. Well I better quit now as I have to get to work while baby is asleep. Poor darling, I hope she’ll get well soon.
April 2, 1920 My God, the baby is getting worse. Help her! I am going to get the minister to come over and baptize her soon. We were going to do it tonight but I don’t know if I dare to wait because today am going to take her down to the doctor again and it’s hard telling they might have to do something today instead of tomorrow. Dr. Quevli was up yesterday and he said he was going to get a specialist to look at her too. Her gland is swollen from back of the ear and then she has a boil or abscess in her throat so she can’t hardly breathe.
April 4, 1920, Easter Day
We took the baby as a last resort to Seattle to have a Radium treatment.
April 5, 1920
God bless her soul! Her struggle ended. May we all live pure sweet lives and meet her there where there will be no separation. She died in my arms last night at 12:50. She had been getting worse but in the afternoon she seemed so bright that we all had good hopes but it wasn’t the way. God’s will be done! Peace be with her memory.
We are ready for bed now. It seems so hard to realize that there has to be a vacant space. Now sister is a little angel. May we meet her again in Eternity!
April 12, 1920
My God but I miss my little baby girl. Yesterday Knut, Karl and I first went to church, then we had our dinner. After dinner we went out to the Cemetery and saw our little darling’s grave. From there we went to see Mrs. Koch. Mr. & Mrs. Politch were there too. Herman has got a baby boy. Oh, dear I just think I’ll never be happy till I get another baby to hold in my arms. It is so empty around the house. Of course, I have Karl but he likes to be out so much.
April 21, 1920
It makes my heart ache to think my little sweetheart would have been 11 months old today. But I should not think about it. I try to push the thoughts away but they come back time and again. Sunday we were out to Mrs. Hanson and had a fine time. Hanson was home and we talked and the time went quite fast. Monday, I felt like going to see Johanna and I went. She is taking music lessons from Einar’s cousin, Lillian Norstad. It certainly is marvelous how much Johanna had learned in such a short time and for the practice she has had.
I told Mrs. Wogs sister, Anna Pearson, who came from Sweden about two months ago to come down I would help her with her English and yesterday afternoon she came and I read with her for nearly two hours.
April 22, 1920
Mrs. Strand was up here for a while and she and Genevieve just went home ready to go to bed.
April 25, 1920
Yesterday was Sunday and I took Karl to the English Methodist church. He is getting a little better now, poor dear, but it is still pretty hard for him to sit still very long. Then after dinner, I got ready and took Bernice and Karl along up to Louis’. Louis was in Gig Harbor but he came home about 7 o’clock. What I really went up for was to get a little picture that Myrtle took of the baby, Karl and me up there. It is just fine of the baby, darling sweetheart. But oh, it made me heartsick to look at it at first. And last night I lay awake a long time. The baby was so much in my mind. I am going to get the picture enlarged as it is the last picture we had taken of her and she looks so much like herself on it. Well, well, I must not think too much of it.
Andrew and family are pretty well now but they have been sick for awhile about the time the baby died. Andrew had them all in bed and had to nurse them.
It is a beautiful day today, so nice and clear. I have been out looking at my banty hens that we bought from Mrs. Nilson yesterday.
April 26, 1920
Karl is outside playing. He has been out since before 8 o’clock. I have been lazy, laying down reading the last night’s paper, but it does me good to rest up, as I have picked up fast.
Today Fred Olson’s family are coming over here to stay with us for awhile–about two weeks as they are going to Norway about the 15th of May. I have lots to do so I must get to work.
Thursday, May 7, 1920
Oh, dear, I feel so bad tonight. I don’t know but I have been so lonesome so today for the baby. I just can’t help it. It just comes back time and again. I just can’t help it. The little darling! May God five me another little baby to hold in my arms. I ought to be thankful for Karl and I am but I miss the baby so.
May 8, 1920
Friday today. Mrs. Olsen and Olive went up to Mrs. Hanson and I was going too but I felt so bad I could not go. I must try to pull myself together because it won’t do to give up—courage!
I have been looking through this book, through the whole account almost since the baby was born. My God I turn to thee. I don’t find any comfort but more pain in reading about her. Everything was so lovely until she got sick. But time and again it came to me that I should not have taken her out as I did and let her sleep outside neither. It seems to me that was probably the cause of it. Oh if I only have had her with me I would gave given all. Just think she would soon have been a year old and how I looked forward to this spring and summer.
May 11, 1920
It is just a beautiful morning. The Olsen family who stays here went over to Seattle this morning on the 7 o’clock boat. Karl was sick last Saturday but he is feeling better now. I thought I would go out today to Mrs. Koch. I have the house full of work but some way or the other I don’t feel like working.
May 17, 1920
So today is the 17th of May. I remember last year on that day I was happier then than now. It was just before the baby was born. Oh I wonder how I can write a year from now. I hope I have another little girl then.
May 18, 1920
Today I am washing clothes. I sent some to the wet wash and am doing the rest myself. The price has gone up too so when I get the bag back this time I think I will have to do it myself after this.
May 20, 1920
Karl went to sleep again this morning and I was laying down too after Knut left. I thought I would take Karl down to the photographer today and have a good picture taken of him. I was always planning on taking the baby and Karl down when it got near their birthday. Tomorrow the baby would have been one year old. God bless her. Our plans don’t always carry through. No indeed!
May 21, 1920
What does this birthday mean. Nothing but pain. My heart aches for the loss of my darling. Today she would have been one year old. Poor dear, why should it be thus?
I took Karl down town and had his picture taken at the Tacoma Studio. I get a dozen and one large one for $6.00 and I don’t think that is so bad. From there I went up to McCormic and got $1 for my green stamp book I got from the Olsons. Then I bought Karl a new hat at Stone Fisher’s. They had the cutest rompers there. Oh, dear I thought of my baby how cute she would have looked in one of them. I took the car up to Spokane and went off and saw Mrs. Norstad. She still misses her boy so. Poor mother. It is still harder when the children are grown up to lose them. But I have read something terrible in the paper of an old school acquaintance of mine, Robert Friedman. He shot his stepfather. What a tragedy. One dead and the boy’s life ruined. He was such a bright boy too, one of the best in high school. He graduated in the same class as I. I have known him since 1909.
May 22, 1920
It’s just something heavy over me. I can’t get away from thinking of the baby and it makes me so unhappy. I think of every time she was out almost. May be it had been too cold for her. Oh that I should have made such mistakes. Oh I wonder if I ever will get over it.
May 26, 1920
Monday the 24th was Karl’s birthday and we had a party for him. Johanna and Doris came first. She could not stay so long as she had to go home and take her music lesson. Martha, Evelyn and the baby came next, then Mrs. Strand and then I thought I better go up and get the ice cream. Johanna was going in to see Mrs. Norstad on the way home. I thought of Marie and she came down after a while. Mrs. Hanson came as I was going in to buy ice cream and it got to be quite a party at last. He got a cup and saucer from Doris Williams, a milk cup and sauce dish from Mrs. Strand, a ball from Evelyn and a dollar from Martha, 50 cents from Knute, a pair of sox from Mrs. Hanson, a bar of chocolate from Johanna.
May 27, 1920
I am sick in bed today. I have had a bad cold and yesterday, I started to get diarrhea so bad and during the night I was quite sick. Karl has run out and I am all alone and lonesome ____. Why should it be that way?
6:25pm—I feel better this afternoon and I have been sewing and just now I helped Knute clear rocks off the lots. Queen got puppies May 3 and now they are getting so cute. They are walking around in the shed, barking and scrapping. We have 4 left out of the 11 she had. McFarlane, Wog and Jurach all want one.
May 28, 1920
The time is dragging along. I have been in bed most of the morning but thought I better get up now. Poor Karl. He was so anxious to go out today but it has been raining off and on between showers. I sent him up to the butcher shop to get meat and then he was going to buy a loaf of bread. Just a little while after he left it got to be the most terrible shower of hail. I hope he had reached the butcher shop. Now I see him coming. Queen came a little ahead.
May 29, 1920
I am in bed now with fever. This diarrhea dragged along too long. But I thought I would be all right. Knute is calling a doctor now.
Decoration Day, May 31, 1920
This morning I was so hungry, so hungry. I have been on a diet now since Wednesday but I am getting better. I had some toast, one egg and some barley broth and I haven’t felt any ill effects yet. Dr. Honda came up Saturday about 7 o’clock and he gave me some dark medicine to take. I am in a run down condition and weak. And today we were going out to the cemetery to Tudel’s, sweetheart, darling baby’s grave with flowers. Well, it isn’t that she is forgotten, it is just circumstances. This makes the third Decoration Day since I was married that I have been in bed, first with Karl, then with baby Irene. Time heals every wound they say, but this is the deepest would I have had so far in life.